I have no interest in ordinary humans!

This was posted originally at my WordPress blog, here.

Dear Firefox–

We’ve had some good times. You led me from a world of static web pages with minimal scripting to a wonderful world of Ajax. It was with you that I met great sites like YouTube, Reddit, Twitter, and Facebook. Your extension system kept me interested even after the initial buzz of the affair ended.

However, lately you’ve been a bit of a disappointment. You take up an assload of memory, and while you do get better on each iteration, you just don’t get good enough. YouTube videos now have a 50% shot of crashing you, or at least stalling out the whole thing. And we’ll not talk about the ugliness that is DKos’s front page, which invariably causes you to hang (interesting how that one causes you to cough, but Drudge, RedState, and fivethirtyeight don’t). We’ll not talk about how badly you max out my processor while idling.

I’m sorry, but the Web has changed. I need better HTML5 support (including H264 support, which you can’t have, I understand). I need a browser that doesn’t hang on a bit of Javascript (or at least lets me select a new tab). And now that Chrome has an ad blocker, there’s no good reason for me to stay with you.

It’s not you, it’s me. Well, actually, it is you, and the web. We’ll always have Slashdot and XKCD, anyway.